Tuesday, April 24, 2007

In The Begining...

Once upon a time there was a little girl, much like all the other little girls. She ran and jumped and played, but she never felt quite right.

She had "problems."

She couldn't drink the raw milk the family got from the friendly farmer down the road. She had to drink milk out of a cardboard box. Pasteurized and all that stuff.

She couldn't drink orange juice without dire gastrointestinal consequences. It made everything go straight through her with much force.

She had to watch what she drank at bedtime, or the night would not go gently.

She was plump and stopped growing around the fourth grade.

And she was tired. So tired that there were many trips to the friendly vampires to let them taste her blood and see if she had mono.

She never did.

But the little girl kept up a stiff upper lip and plodded along into the future.

The future held surprises.

Right before entering high school the little girl suddenly, without trying, lost her pudginess. She started sneaking smokes. She noticed she had bad headaches and her heart beat funny sometimes. The masters were consulted. EEG's and EKG's were done. More blood was tasted.

There was nothing there.

So she abandoned the masters who gave her Darvon and darvocet and went into the forest to find the witch doctor. He twisted her spine and gave her hope.

She wandered off to college and learned to be wise. But her body did not like her. It gave her chest pains and stomach cramps, for which the masters gave her tranquilizers and surgery.

Neither really helped.

She became wise in spite of the masters. Yet when she graduated from college and found she had no voice. It had mysteriously disappeared. So she did what any wise person would do.

She went looking for it.

It Has to be Said

Someone once told me that your thyroid controls your voice; if your thyroid has a problem, so does your voice.

Mine has been missing.

This blog will be an attempt at finding it again, and hopefully put a few demons to rest in the process.

It is a long story.

It is not a pretty story.

It has to be said.